Recognizing and Protecting Yourself from a Narcissistic Boss
- Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett
- Nov 21
- 4 min read
Updated: Nov 24
Toxic leaders don’t all look the same. Some command the room with charisma, and others quietly drain your confidence over time. Through my research and work with professionals navigating unhealthy workplaces, I’ve come to recognize eight distinct toxic boss types, and the Narcissistic Boss is one of the most common of them all.
The American Psychological Association describes narcissism as a “pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy.”1 That clinical description points to what we see at work: a leader consumed by self-image, driven to be admired, and strikingly unaware—or uninterested—in how their behavior impacts others. When these traits are extreme, the damage to employees’ confidence, mental health, and career success can be profound.
What do narcissistic bosses look like in practice?
At first, many narcissistic bosses are confident and charismatic. They can be polished public speakers, brilliant at managing up, and charming in meetings. That charm is often part of the problem: it disarms people, makes it harder to name the behavior, and helps the leader maintain influence. But behind the charm is often insecurity, entitlement, and a deep need for validation.
Common behaviors of a Narcissistic Boss often reveal themselves over time, though they may be masked by charm at first. They may act like they have your best interests at heart but are truly all about themselves and lack empathy. They are arrogant and entitled and will want all the attention on them. You will feel used, manipulated, and taken for granted over your time working with them.
In public, they can appear gracious and admiring, offering praise when it serves their image, but behind closed doors, that appreciation disappears. Genuine empathy is non-existent; requests for guidance or support are often brushed aside or minimized. They do not take feedback nor have any self-insight into their behavior and impact.
Relationships with this type of leader are rarely reciprocal. People are valued not for who they are, but for how they can enhance the boss’s reputation or influence. Disagreeing with them carries risk; those who question or challenge their perspective may find themselves excluded from important meetings or subtly undermined. Meetings under a Narcissistic Boss often feel more like performances than problem-solving sessions—a stage for them to showcase their brilliance, rather than spaces for collaboration or meaningful dialogue.
Why narcissistic bosses cause so much harm
Because their self-worth is tied to admiration, narcissistic managers prioritize image over relationship. They do not readily tolerate vulnerability, and they lack the empathy required to see how their actions erode others’ confidence. When employees suffer under a narcissist, the psychological fallout can include anxiety and reduced self-confidence, which are dynamics I work with clients to address in my coaching and counselling work.
This topic is very common—so much so that I recorded four podcast episodes exploring narcissistic bosses, including Disarming the Narcissist at Work and How to Handle Narcissistic Personalities on the Job.2 (Find the rest on Where Work Meets Life™.)
Protecting Yourself
If you recognize your current situation in these examples, remember two important truths: firstly, the problem is not your worth, and secondly, that you are not alone. Narcissistic bosses often mask their impact behind charm and success. Naming the behavior and getting support are the first steps toward protecting your well-being and career. A few next steps to help you further are:
Talk through your experience and impacts with a career counsellor, therapist, or coach who can help you process and determine next steps for your career and wellbeing.
Check out my NEW book I Wish I’d Quit Sooner: Practical Strategies for Navigating and Escaping a Toxic Boss. If you pre-order prior to January 13, 2026, you can claim an exclusive bonus offer – a free 3-part video series that will help you with your next steps prior to receiving the book.
Listen to my podcast episodes mentioned above, and know that healthier, more human-centered and compassionate leadership is possible, and worth seeking.
Nobody deserves to be under a narcissistic boss. You do not have to suffer, and there are better opportunities awaiting you in your career journey.
References:
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-5-TR. (2022) Fifth edition, text revision. Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association Publishing.
The podcast episodes are:
Youtube:@dr.laurawhereworkmeetslife
Facebook:@Dr.Laura.whereworkmeetslife
Instagram: @dr.laura.live
Tik Tok:@drlaura.live
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Dr. Laura Hambley is a thought leader on Career and Workplace Psychology, passionate about career development. She founded Canada Career Counselling in 2009, however has specialized in career development since 1999 through her Master’s research and counselling in different settings, including outplacement and career transition firms in Alberta.
Dr. Laura learned early on that effective career planning enhances wellbeing, confidence, and clarity in one’s work and life. Combining the expertise of Psychology with Career Counselling is what she sought to do as she founded and evolved Canada Career Counselling from Calgary to Toronto, Victoria, and Halifax, providing Career Counselling and Career Coaching to thousands of clients over many years.
Dr. Laura enjoys her work as a Career Counsellor and Career Coach to professionals who are in mid- or senior stages of their career, helping them navigate complex career decisions and pivots. Her extensive experience as an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist, enables her to understand and address the challenges faced by individuals, leaders, teams, and organizational cultures. Having consulted to a wide range of organizations since the late 1990s, and becoming a future of work thought leader, has enabled her to help individuals and organizations navigate the latest trends impacting today’s organizations.
Dr. Laura fulfilled her dream of having her own podcast in 2020, called Where Work Meets Life™, where she interviews experts globally on topics around career fulfillment and thriving humans and organizations. She is a sought-after keynote speaker for organizations, associations, conferences, and events.
In addition to her Master’s in Counselling Psychology (1999), Laura holds a Ph.D. in Industrial/Organizational Psychology (2005) from the University of Calgary. She is a Registered Psychologist with the College of Alberta Psychologists, as well as a member of the Psychologists’ Association of Alberta and the Society of Human Resource Management (SHRM). She also contributes to teaching, supervision, and research as an Adjunct Professor of Psychology at the University of Calgary.
For more resources, look into Dr. Laura’s organizations:
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